DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS FOR EFFECTIVE SHOOTING OF SHOTS

Hello hi,

Happy Sunday and happy international women’s day. To every woman out there, no matter what you think of yourself, you rock!

Before I get into today’s write-up, I have to say that we should all be alert during the Corona Virus issue because it’s spreading really quickly. By now, you should have heard of simple prevention techniques such as washing of hands – it would surprise you how many people don’t wash their hands regularly even after a toilet use. I once saw a public health researcher in the shared bathroom who did not wash hands after use. When I reminded the person to do so, their response was “You know we black people have strong immunity”. I was in shock! Also, avoid touching your face and other people. I was pleasantly surprised to see the measures put in place in Church today – there were hand sanitizers everywhere and most people did not bother shaking hands during the peace sharing. However, there was a nice elderly woman who always walks around shaking hands and today, a few people refused to respond; I felt bad for her. There were also a few other awkward moments, for example, anyone who coughed during mass was given the eye and so you could hear some people struggling hard not to cough out loud. The priests refused to bless people on their foreheads after mass but instead waved at the congregation. I even saw one of them elbow-greet a parishioner which looked funny. At this rate, if the virus situation does not improve, by next Sunday we might see priests fist-bumping us like “What’s up, bro in Christ?” Ha ha! Anyway, better to be safe than infected.

DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS

So back to today’s topic is on how to effectively slide into DMs (direct messages). For those of you who don't know what sliding in the DMs means, it is when you contact someone, that you typically don't know or don't have their phone numbers, by directly messaging them through social media platform. Since we now live in the social media age, there’s been a lot of sliding and “shooting of shots” via Instagram, twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn…everywhere you can think of. People slide in for different reasons – to seek for job, love, friendship. Whatever the reason may be, having proper etiquette is important and yet in 2020, some people still get it wrong. Therefore, it is no surprise that many sliders (the seeker or person making first contact) are immediately flushed out or ignored by the slidees (the person sought after). I have some tips for you today that I believe can help you in your sliding activity, especially for romantic purposes. Here they are (You may thank me later, wink):

1. Do your research: I know you might think this is just the researcher in me talking but this is the most important step as it will guide you throughout the process. As a slider, you should know what kind of things the slidee is interested in e.g. arts, music, travelling etc. This may help you not only to start a conversation but also to hold it. It will also show that you have genuine interest in the person and that you might be a smart person. It does not have to be anything complicated or involve stalking, it could just be as simple as looking through their profile, photos, and reading their captions. Imagine if you started talking to someone and they responded and you asked them where they live, meanwhile their location was boldly stated on their profile (duh?). I believe if you were applying for a job, you would look up the company. So as with everything in life, try to do a bit of research before sliding into anyone’s dm.

2. Do make yourself accessible to your slidee: When people get DMs, they may decide to look up the slider. Therefore if your profile is private, you might lose a chance of being responded to, because I don’t think any slidee would send you a friend request just to see what you look like or who you are. So if you want to slide into someone’s DM, I think it’s best to unlock your profile, at least temporarily.

3. Do make your profile match up: Just in case the slidee gets to look you up, it is also necessary to ensure that your profile is interesting or at least clean enough to attract them. For example, it does not make sense if you slide into a female activist’s DM and yet you have some misogynistic tweets. If they like to read, you might want to make your profile picture a photo of you reading, ha ha. Okay, nobody is asking you to pretend or change who you are but make sure that your profile shows that you could be a good match for the slidee.

4. Do not be a creep or weirdo: There’s this thing that many people do where they just randomly decide to like all your photos in one minute and then say hi. For sure, you would have been noticed but as a weirdo, which is not something that would be beneficial to you. It’s okay to like some pictures when they are put up but not all in one day. Also, if you finally get attention from the slidee, don’t start sending d*ck pics or making weird requests. Recently, some “stranger” dude who slid into my DM demanded for a video call. I use the word “demanded” because he kept insisting, even when I told him no and things went downhill from there.

5. Do say more than just “hi”: When you slide into someone’s DM, saying “Hi” is not enough. You should ask how they’re doing, introduce yourself, and then continue the conversation if they respond. It’s bizarre for someone to say hi and the slidee says hello and nothing else is said until the next time, the slider says hi again and it becomes a cycle. By the third hi, I personally would not respond because I would have labelled you as a “monitoring spirit” by then. This is also important for female sliders as some women think it’s okay to just say hi and expect the guys to carry on the conversation. Remember that the onus is primarily on whoever the slider is. As I said earlier, this is where you can put into use the information you gathered during your research.

6. Do not write an essay: I know I just said you should introduce yourself but that does not mean you should write an epistle. Some people write their whole story before the slidee even gets the chance to respond and honestly, nobody has time to read long paragraphs. So keep it simple, use nice catchphrases – think about it as a phrase you would use to sell yourself on your resume.

7. Do consider the platform: When you decide to slide into someone’s DM, it is important to understand the social media space you are using. If it is Instagram, it might be okay to be a bit flirty where you could say their picture is cute but on LinkedIn, try to start a little more professional even if you want something more. For example, start the conversation with career related things – you could say you admire their work or you’ve read their publication and you think it’s great. That might make them respond better.

8. Do remember records: Know that if you slide into someone’s DM, your messages may have been saved, even if not replied to. And even if you go to delete them, the slidee may have screen-grabbed them. So bear this in mind whenever you write something so that you never send information that may be used against you in the future.

9. Do be natural and honest: Being yourself is always the best you can be. At the end of the day, if the slidee decides to respond and things go well, you might have a date. And you definitely don’t want to come across as a liar at that stage. It would look really bad on you.

10. Finally Do not be a sore loser: You win some, you lose some. Don’t suddenly become disrespectful because someone ignored you or turned you down. You’d just come across like those market guys that beckon on you to buy something from their stalls “Psst, fine girl come and buy” and when you don’t respond, they say “Ugly girl, nobody likes you”. Don’t forget that it’s a small world and you don’t know if you might meet them somewhere someday.

So those are my 10 guaranteed tips, you’re welcome! If you ever use them and they work, let me know, especially as I have not yet put them into practice :P

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Thank you for reading my post and please share. Have a great week and stay safe. God bless. X