Last week, I decided to take a break. Really busy week; I'm always busy but last week, we also had FIFA world cup, lol. So I apologize to those of you that were looking forward to a post as some people actually buzzed me. Thank you so much for reading; you're the reason I hope to continue writing. And please click to like the google icon, share with your friends and colleagues and of course, drop your thoughts and comments here (always appreciated). Enjoy today's post :) :
In a restaurant on the Victoria Island, Lagos, sat a man and a lady having lunch at one of the tables with a window view. They are both elegantly dressed, sitting opposite each other and appear to be on a date. From the taint of grey on his beard, one would guess that the man is in his early forties and the lady due to her countenance, seems most likely in her mid twenties.
The man clears his throat and begins:
Man (smiling): You came in highly recommended, you know? So tell me a little bit about yourself.
Lady (laughs shyly): Kemi loves to exaggerate but I hope I meet your expectations. I just graduated from the University of Ilorin, I studied Fine Arts.
Man: Really? (He sounds surprised)
Lady: Yes, I did. So Kemi tells me that you are an Engineer. Do you love your job?
Man (smiles smugly): Why is every girl interested in my job and how much I earn?
Lady: But I didn’t ask...
Man (interrupts): It’s okay. I have to come to understand that most women are materialistic but not to worry, if I pick you at last you’ll get to know all my financial details or at least most (he says smilingly and winks).
(The Lady looks annoyed but says nothing and continues her meal)
Man: Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I am a blunt person. That’s one of my charming personalities (he says with his mouth half filled with food).
Lady: Charming indeed (she says with a sarcastic tone and smiles)
A long pause follows as they continue their meal...
Man: So why is a beautiful lady like you still single? Is it by choice or by chance?
Lady: Well, I’d say a combination of both.
Man: How do you mean?
Lady: I choose to remain single because I have not yet had the chance to meet the man I want.
Man: Interesting; you must have high standards. I like that. Me too; I’m single because a lot of women these days are incomplete.
Lady (Raises an eye brow): Incomplete?
Man: Yes, incomplete. Many can’t cook properly, or are horrible in bed, or are not well educated. The few that can manage to cook are mostly gold diggers and don’t want to pay any bills.
Lady: So you’re looking for a woman who is well-educated, will cook for you, be great in bed and pay the bills?
Man: Not all the bills, at least half.
Lady: I see. And will you cook half of the time too?
Man: Why should a man cook when he’s married? What is a woman purpose in life? She was made to be a man’s helper.
Lady: A helper, yes; not a slave! I think it is incorrect for you to even think that those things are what define a woman.
Man: Well, I don’t see the big deal; my mum did all the cooking.
Lady: And my dad paid all the bills. (The lady sounds exasperated)
Man: Don’t try to insult me; I’m not your mate as you can see.
(The lady opens her mouth to say something but changes her mind. Instead she takes out her phone from her bag and starts playing with it)
After another few minutes of awkward silence, the man continues:
Man: For how long have you been single?
Lady (Not looking up from her phone): For about two years now
Man: I can see why now. (The lady rolls her eyes and does not reply) So when last this you go out on a date?
Lady: About a month ago.
Man: And you did not go out with him anymore? (The lady nods) Why?
Lady: Because he came across as a very arrogant person to me.
Man: That must have been awful
Lady: Yes, it was awful. In fact, it was the worst date I had ever been on....Well, up until today.
Thank you again and have a lovely week. Follow me on twitter @vivio_gogo and instagram @ugochiukah for more updates. Cheers.