MERRY CHRISTMAS! A WRITER’S PLIGHT

Hello hi,

Merry Christmas! It’s hard for me to believe that the last time I posted on my blog was almost a year ago; to be precise, it was on February 23^rd 2017. This year has been eventful, with moments of tears and joy, lots of hard work and achievement and full of God’s grace and mercies. Throughout the year, I had many people asking me why I had stopped writing or had not posted on my blog or Bella naija and I felt a bit sad that I was not sharing my stories that may have been a form of entertainment to others. In addition, it made me slightly feel like I was not using my talent to the fullest extent. To be fair, it was a very busy year for me and there were many times that I wanted to post something including on Easter Sunday, on my birthday, graduation etc.; I always had stories on my mind and never for once did I forget about my blog. However, there were a few reasons why I did not get to share any stories and I will share a few of them with you now:

• ·       Firstly, I never stopped writing. This is true as I still have lots of backlog of stories which I hope to share eventually and also, because I started doing more of a different kind of writing – academic writing. So while I may not have shared things on my blog, I got to published a few research papers and my dissertation which was over 200 pages, phew! While this obviously had an effect on my blog sharing, I have to say that this was still positive for me because I still shared meaningful work that could potentially contribute to saving lives. So this was a huge achievement for me.
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• ·       Secondly, I felt guilty even without being blamed. So as a student who had lots of school work and research deadlines and with some of school heads following me on social media where I used to post my blog stories, I felt like it might look as if I had way too much time on my hand if I wrote and shared my stories. Like I said, nobody ever accused me of being incompetent but that did not stop the subconscious feeling from growing and so with time, my posting and also writing plummeted because every time I wanted to write I thought about some work I could be using the time to do. However, looking back, I do not think this was the best way to handle things because truth be told, research work can never finish. Since writing is a form of escape for me, I actually think that I may have gotten more work done if I had written more as this would have helped me release stress and tension, lots of which I was under at the time. The most important thing I should have done was appropriate time management, which would involve allocating time for different things so as to have a balance between work and personal life and once it was time for personal business, then I should not have felt guilty. Oh well, I have learnt this now and I hope I can apply it to my life in the future.
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• ·       Thirdly, I started to care too much about what other people thought, if I would be judged for perhaps writing about controversial issues. So there were times, I wanted to write about relationships for example, and then I would stop after wondering whether my story would be professional enough to share since I now had more professional connections. This defeated my purpose of writing because as I explained earlier, writing for me was a way of expression. I neither write to be liked nor to please anyone; I just do it as a hobby and I barely even get paid for writing. I also do not wish to pretend to be someone else while writing because then, it would serve no purpose to me. So now, I have told myself to just write –whatever comes to my mind, my fingertips, I would write as long as I am able to by God’s grace.
• ·       Finally, I started to care too much about criticisms from people who assumed that they were parts of my stories - my writing casts. There were many times I would share a story and someone would call me to question why I wrote about them. Often times, they were correct and sometimes they were not which they never believed when I would tell them, It is funny and great to see how relatable stories are and how people are happy to read about others but get really defensive when they think they were written about. One of the last times it happened, it was a guy who I used to think I liked and after then, I started to lose my zeal to write or share my stories because I did not personally want to hurt anyone. It took me some months to wake up and realise that as a writer, there was only so much I could control because many stories stem from our environment, including our imagination, the names used in the stories and our experiences. Therefore, if you are in a writer’s life, you might get written about whether you like it or not. So I would say, if you happen to become a “cast”, be honoured as not everyone was important enough to make it into a story and if you don’t, consider yourself lucky at least for that time being as you might make it at some other point.

To conclude, I have come to a decision that I will not apologise for my writing for any of the reasons above and based on this, I will be writing and sharing more stories in 2018 by God’s grace. Like I said, it’s a God-give talent, why waste it? After all, my blog says: “My thoughts, my dreams, my stories, my life...!”

Very big thanks to everyone who has supported my writing and blogging throughout the years and encouraged me to write. I wish you all a very merry Christmas, filled with love and joy. Enjoy the season and spread the love. X

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Twitter: @vivio_gogo

GIFTED

Hello Hi,

I hope you've been great. I'm back with another story. In the spirit of Valentine's day past, I wrote this piece. Enjoy and feel free to comment. Please also like and share with friends etc. xx

GIFTED

The Huffington Post

Amaka had grown to be a wiser woman over the years. Her past relationships and those of her friends had taught her to prioritize what was more important in life. With every wrong relationship she had experienced, she became more certain that she was closer to her prince charming and farther away from her frogs; that was hope to her. She had had multiple heart aches and every time she went through them, she updated her list of qualities that she did desired and those she did not. The interesting thing about her list was that she also had a segment titled “my weaknesses.” This was where she listed the things she had come to realise were her bad habits or things that she felt she needed to work on, in general, as she believed that no one was perfect, including her. She wanted growth, to grow into the woman that the kind of man she desired would also desire. And from all the years, she had discovered that her Achilles’ heels were gifts.

Oh yes, Amaka loved gifts very much, regardless of what they were. As long as they came wrapped or in pretty boxes, she would get excited and very happy. It was not because she was materialistic, she was not; rather for her, gifts used to be a sign of love. Growing up, she grew accustomed to the little gifts she received from her parents, especially her father, and other loved ones on occasions such as Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, from trips and even sometimes on random occasions. She also had no hesitation or problem with giving gifts too as that was her way of showing love and appreciation. However, things had happened over the years to Amaka that made her review her perception about gifts.

These changes started little by little but became more prominent with her ex-boyfriend, Chima. The first time he flew into Nigeria to visit her from the States, he bought her an IPhone which made her ecstatic; the next time, it was an IPad and the time after that, it was an Iwatch. “He must truly love you”, her friends said as they all stared at the gifts in awe. She was also excited but something felt off to her. It was not only because she did not think that he could genuinely afford the gifts but somehow she felt that the gifts were being used to cover up for something that was missing. She just was not sure of what it was but she began to realise that every time he got her upset, he would appear with a gift and then, they would sweep everything else under the carpet like nothing happened. She tried to convince herself that there was no way that he would buy her so many expensive presents if he did not love her. Things got really sour with time in her relationship as cheating rumours were flying around as well as stealing rumours and slowly her trust for him started to plummet. But every time she found a reason to break up with him, he got her a gift to keep her with him. This carried on for a few years until she got a dreaded call one morning. The lady on the other end said she was his main chick and he had run away with some things she had helped him buy without paying her. “Things like what?” Amaka asked, holding her breath; “Many things” the lady replied, “including an IPad, IPhone and I-Watch.” That was the day Amaka’s relationship with Chima ended, after two long years; years that she would never get back.

But time had gone past since then and she had grown although she found it difficult to go into another relationship or accept gifts. It was no surprise that she had developed trust issues and in every new relationship, she wondered if she was the side chick. Now, she was dating another man, Ikenna. They had been together for about 6 months and she was beginning to feel more confident in their love or at least that was what she thought until he disappeared on Valentine’s day. No gift, no cards, no message from him except his reply to hers wishing him a happy Valentine’s day. She had sent him some chocolates and even though she was not expecting any expensive present, she had thought that he would at least take her out for dinner or try to spend the day with her. She was disappointed and when she voiced her concerns to him, his response did not make any sense to her.

“You know that Valentine’s day is just another day and we don’t have to wait for that day to show love” those were Ikenna’s words. 

“Yes, I know that we don’t have to wait but I still think it’s important to spend it with loved ones, just like Christmas, birthdays etc.” she replied annoyed.

“Fine, we can go out for dinner this weekend and we can stop on our way to buy a gift, if that’s what you want.” Ikenna replied.

“That’s not what I want…” and so their argument continued.

Amaka had questions and she wanted to know where Ikenna had been on that day, who he was with and what he had been doing. He had refused to give her any meaningful answer the entire week and every day, they had a new argument.

A week had passed since the event but Amaka was still not satisfied and became more doubtful. She brought up the issue again and this time around, Ikenna walked away and came back into the room a few minutes later. “I know what will cheer you up” he said, “I have a gift for you.” Amaka instantly turned away. “Don’t think you can buy me with gifts!” she snapped without looking at what he was holding. She refused to look at him or receive anything and insisted on finishing her conversation. So Ikenna was forced to keep the presents away and answer her questions. He was shocked by her attitude and so was she, although she also felt proud of herself for rejecting his gift, whatever it had been. For her, she had succeeded in achieving a milestone in overcoming her major weakness and she had shown Ikenna that she could not be distracted by material things; something she felt like she should have done with her ex-boyfriend. They had a long conversation that night and Amaka came to the conclusion that Ikenna was not being honest with her. Although she did not mention it to him, she knew that she had to break up with him soon and just before she fell asleep, she told herself that she would do it the next day before she left his place.

It was just past midnight when Amaka woke up to use the bathroom. As she walked back to the bed, she saw the wrapped present. Ignore it, a voice said to her but she wondered what harm it would do if she just took a look; after all she had already made her point clear to him about not being able to be purchased with gifts. She was just curious to know what was inside. She took a look at Ikenna and he seemed to be fast asleep. So she carefully unwrapped the gift as quietly as she could. She covered her mouth to prevent her from screaming when she saw what was inside; it was a Rolex diamond wristwatch and she stood there in admiration until she was startled by Ikenna’s voice.

“Do you like it?” He asked; she almost dropped the watch in shock. She was speechless and confused at that moment because she had been so sure that he was asleep. She was not sure of how to respond so she just smiled. He got up and kissed her “I knew you would like it” and then took her back to bed. That night, Amaka cursed in her mind “Damn curiosity, Damn gifts!” she said to herself. She was very upset with herself because she knew that once again, the breakup which she had scheduled for the next day was no longer going to happen on that day.

Thank you for reading; don't forget to leave your comments and share please and follow me on:

IG: @ugochiukah

Twitter: @vivio_gogo

Have a beautiful remaining week!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2016 HAPPENINGS AND 2017 EXPECTATIONS

Hello hi,

Happy New Year! I’m so excited for 2017. 2016 was quite eventful and went by quickly but I am extremely thankful. I felt like I experienced a lot…from getting and giving heart aches, to anxiety, to romance, to travelling, to health matter, to peace! Sometimes, it was so confusing but God always had a way of showing me his presence. There were times I could literally feel His favour around me such that I could almost touch it. I got to spend time with some of my family members, made new friends, rekindled old friendships, and dumped a praying mantis (ooh! I almost wrote a story about that!). And speaking about stories, I know I have not written in a very long time, not because I did not want to, but I was engrossed in other types of writing and duties. I have missed writing stories a lot, it was like a therapy for me and a way of expressing myself so I hope to get back to business this year. I’m definitely adding it to my goals for the New Year.

And that reminds me of my 2016 goals – I had quite a few, including things like getting my learner’s driver license (I achieved that in November, ha ha, better late than never). I love to plan things and write them down so I had written some goals at the beginning of the year and I took a quick look at them recently. My other goals included things like:

• ·       Publishing X number of articles (To be continued)
• ·       Weighing X kg (± Xkg) (I went in and out of the scale but at least I was conscious of my situation, which is the key)
• ·       Learning more French (oui, je l’apprends encore)
• ·       Ride my bicycle (to be fair, the weather was not always good; in fact it snowed today :P so TBC)

And last but not the least:

• ·       Getting married! (I didn’t even try for this one)

Lol! When I was reviewing my accomplishments and things I needed to work on based on my list, I realized that this was written at the bottom, with a pencil, and in a smaller font. I do not remember why it was so, maybe I had added it at the last minute to my list and maybe I was too shy and did not want others to see it since I put the list up in my office next to my desk. Perhaps, this was why I did not achieve it, lol, so I will work on it next year. Nah, I’m sure it was just not yet God’s time for me. J

I may not have achieved everything on my list but I am happy I wrote them down. Just like a popular saying “Planning is everything but plans are nothing”, I think it’s a great idea to plan and so I’m making a new list for 2017 including carry-overs from 2016.

Overall, I am thankful to the Almighty and hopeful for next year. Three of the things that I ask God for next year are Love, Faith and Peace. A summary of my year:

January – I found myself singing “fool again” by Westlife and “survivor” by Destiny child

February – Family time, whoop whoop!

March – Lenten season; prayer mood

April – had my annual ice cream cake

May – Established good friendships

June – Anxious, confused, worried (much ado about everything)

July – Regain of hope

August – Worked like a bee

September – Gulliver’s travels

October – A Brazilian experience

November – Had the best poutine in Montreal

December – Got to experience common side effects of morphine and I pray I never had to take it again!

So that’s it, you might see some stories titled as some of the phrases above, coming soon. Once again, I am thankful to God and my wonderful family and friends for a special year and I look forward to a better year.

Happy birthday to my amazing little sister (who wants my handbag). I pray God continues to show you favour abundantly and bless you accordingly.

 I wish you all a very happy new year. Please tune in for more stories this year; I promise that I will try to be good.

And follow me on twitter: @vivio_gogo and Instagram: @ugochiukah

xx