HAPPY NEW YEAR 2020 AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ODI

Hello hi,

Happy New Year! Yay! It’s the start of a new decade; so exciting! Actually, it’s not exactly a New year where I currently am, but it is where I was born so I’m going with that time zone (ha ha!) It’s also my younger sister’s birthday so it’s usually a double celebration for our family. By the way, I am super excited to announce that I have finally opened my official Instagram blog account (@lavivsblog)! It still needs some work but please follow and share in the meantime.

This year had been a funny one for me. My life almost felt like a pendulum – oscillating up, left, right, down... There were times when I would get annoying news, and then almost immediately afterwards, hear good news and vice versa; it was so confusing. Many times I did not know whether to laugh or cry; I’m sure there were times when I did both at the same time. But in all, I survived by God’s grace; I’m still here - strong, healthy, and happy, and for these, I am grateful to the Almighty. You should be thankful too, because you are alive reading this blog post. J

This year, I had many first encounters – encounter with, new cities, new guys, and even with the Police! I also had lots of unplanned reunions; it was like I re-met someone from each phase of my life this year. I’ll tell you about these later via my blog and as usual, I’ll be sharing my 2020 goals and an evaluation of my 2019 goals (which I think I did not do too bad on). However, for now, this post is dedicated to my younger sister and so I have made a poor attempt to write a short poem. Poetry has never been my strength even though it was what I started with as a writer, when I was about seven years old; so please don’t judge! Hee hee! Enjoy:

AN ODE TO ODI

Mama came home bearing gifts and a baby, I was told that I was now a big sister

The gifts were due to the New Year delivery, T’was a special day though not on an Easter

My five year reign had abruptly ended, No longer was I the last born of the home

I looked at baby with curiosity extended, Her eyes shone like a gemstone

She was given the name Cynthia and Odi, a name that pleases GOD

She spoke and walked before a year old, a child that was never bored

Thus she had to go early to school, a nearby one called Santa Maria

Somewhere she could learn to doodle, until we figured out her future career

Many years gone by with tide, she was now a young woman of steel

Her eyes still shone bright and wide, especially during a Christmas sale

Street-smart and no longer a smallie, elegant and blessed in many ways

Always still full of lively stories, I pray she blossoms more every day.

Happy birthday to my only little sister, the dark brown-skinned woman! May God keep and bless you beyond your imaginations, Amen!

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful 2020. Don’t forget to leave a comment under the post, like and share the post, and follow me on Instagram: official blog is @ lavivsblog, personal IG (@ugochiukah) and twitter (@vivio_gogo) for updates.

THE MAN IN THE POOL

Hello hi,

I hope your Holiday/Christmas season is going well. As I promised, I have another blogpost - the last one before the new year. I hope you've read my previous posts; if not, please check them out. Below is a new post, I hope you will enjoy it :)

THE MAN IN THE POOL

As 2019 is drawing to an end, I cannot help but think about my goals I had listed for the year, what I have achieved and what I have not. “Learning how to swim” was a goal that I had be carrying over since 2016; possibly way before then. I had taken classes before – group lessons, lessons with friends, and lessons with random strangers in the pool trying to help me, but I was still inept at swimming. This year, I had planned to enroll in a private swimming class but I had an August visitor; I mean this in both literal senses, as actually a very special guest visited me in August and during the whole summer. Therefore, I did not have enough time to take on extra activities as I had to do some tour guidance. However, this post is not about this year but rather about the year before – 2018. Ah oui, 2018 was the year I was sure that I would achieve my swimming goals for several reasons.

First of all, I had just finished taking group swim classes. I did not learn much from the classes as they were each thirty minute sessions, with eight students in them and one teacher. So of course, before the teacher could go from one person to another, the class would be over. Nonetheless, I had developed more confidence being in the pool despite my swimming techniques remaining amateur, if at all existent. This was still a great progress for me, as every non-swimmer knows that the fear of the pool is the beginning of drowning. Okay, I just made that up but I’m sure you understand what I mean. So after the group class, I had developed more ‘ginger’ (the zeal to learn) and got myself some prescription swim goggles, better swim caps, and sexier swimsuits. I went as often as possible to the pool by myself while awaiting the perfect time for me to make the next step, which was to take a bunch of private lessons. The perfect time came shortly afterwards, in the summer when I had cut my hair. Now there was no need to for me to think about long hair wash and drying after swimming, or even to cover my hair in the pool if I did not feel like it. Alas, I was finally ready!

I was now living in a new city and had to find a swim instructor. Just like I did when I took my driving lessons the year before, my plan was to find a cheap instructor who would teach me and then, I would later quickly polish my skills with a professional swimmer, if needed. In case you don’t know this about me, I am frugal. So I went online – Kijiji and Craigslist to search for someone who would hopefully be cheaper than what I had seen advertised on the websites of gyms and sports centres. Unfortunately, my new gym did not have a pool so I would have had to register in another gym and pay as well, to be able to use their instructors. I eventually found someone online who claimed to be a swimming champion in his home country. I contacted him and booked our first lesson after bargaining and settling on a good first lesson promo price. We planned to meet the next weekend in a public swimming pool not too far from my house.

I was by the pool in my swimsuit, five minutes before the set time. I knew he was already there as he had texted me when he got there, and so I tried to find him. There were already a few people in the pool although it was not yet packed. My eyes immediately caught the swift movement of one the swimmers; I watched as the fellow swam towards me, impressed by his dolphin kicks but still not sure if that was my new teacher. Finally, he rose from the pool, and brushed his dark hair away from his face as the water fell across his toned physique. His body reminded me a bit of Michael Phelps and I tried not to stare lustfully. At least, if that was my teacher, I knew he was not lying about knowing how to swim. I just hoped that he would also know how to teach. As my mind wondered within seconds, he looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back; he was my teacher.

I got into the pool after we exchanged pleasantries and the lesson started immediately.

“So show me what you can do” He demanded.

“Erm, I can’t really do much” I said, losing confidence in myself after having watched him previously swim like a fish.

I showed him my naïve ways of floating, kicking, and pushing myself off the edge of the pool. My breathing technique under the water was close to abysmal and so we began working on that. Afterwards, we worked on kicking and hand stroke movements. He was a very good teacher, with lots of encouragement and patience, and I was thoroughly impressed. We practised and practised, taking short breaks in between whenever I needed one. While on my breaks, Mike would swim a lap; I could tell that he really enjoyed being in the pool.

In the course of the lesson, I learnt more about him. His name was Mike and he was originally from Lebanon, and had only recently moved into the city, just like me. He was currently living with his elder sister and her husband, while studying for a University degree. So as to make some extra pocket money, he had decided to start teaching swimming. Unfortunately, he lived far away from the pool and so would not be able to come during the week days. We discussed more on my future payments; if I agreed to take a package of ten classes with him, then he would be happy to keep it at the same initial cost. He was confident that I would be a good independent swimmer by the tenth class and I was convinced. So we struck a deal for ten lessons, same pool, same time every weekend unless otherwise stated, and the money to be paid at the end of each class.  

Time went by, quickly for Mike as he wanted to continue swimming, but slowly for me as I felt exhausted. I was taking an Uber home and since my house was not far from a train station, I offered to give him a ride. He accepted my offer and I gave him fifteen more minutes to swim before we finally left the pool. We sat on a bench whilst waiting for the Uber driver who appeared to be lost, as the app showed him continuously taking wrong turns. During that time, Mike and I made small talk. We both discovered that we were single and waiting for the “right one and the right time”. He mentioned how he would like to get a place of his own rather than living with his sister, so as to have more privacy. I nodded my head in understanding; privacy was important if you could afford it. The Uber driver finally arrived and in a few minutes, we were in front of my apartment building. I described the way to the train station from my house to Mike and asked him to let me know if he had any problems finding it. Then, we said our goodbyes.

An hour later, after having what I considered to be a rewarding meal for all my swimming exercise, I texted Mike to find out if he got home okay. He said he did and thanked me for being kind enough to check up on him. “It was my pleasure”, I wrote, and “see you next weekend.” I was not expecting any response so I kept my phone aside and took a nap.

I woke up to a text message from Mike; he was complaining about his living situation with his sister. He said he really wanted to find a place urgently but could not afford one by himself at the moment. I suggested that he could find housemates to share with for a start, as that would make things cheaper and later on, he could find a private place when he had enough money.

“Or I could come and live with you”, he replied via text.

I laughed while responding “LOL”. I did not know that he also had some sense of humour; good for him.

“Is that a ‘Yes’?” He asked.

“What? No. I thought you were joking”. I replied, a bit confused.

“Why not? I thought you said you live alone.”

I was now even more confused and seriously hoped that he was just pulling my legs.

“Yeah, I live alone because I don’t want to live with anyone. Also, I don’t know you; we just met today”. I replied in hope that that would end the conversation but…

 “Well, it starts from one day to get to know each other.” He continued. “You seem like a nice girl so I would not mind getting to know you. You also said you are single or do you want to remain lonely? I would teach you swimming for free”

Now, I was beginning to get worried. I mean, this dude knew where I lived and even though he did not know my exact apartment number, what if he was turned out to be a stalker? In person, he did not seem to be a creep and he had been an excellent teacher. So I did not want to lose him as my instructor if I could help it. Therefore, I had to find a way to end this rubbish; I replied:

“I’m sorry if I gave you any wrong impression but as I told you earlier, I CANNOT live with you. So I hope we can end this conversation now and continue our swimming lessons in a nice but professional manner. Do you think you can manage that?” I asked.

“Okay.” That was all he typed.

Phew! I was relieved, even though I could not help but wonder why he would have thought I was interested in him. Had it been because I offered him a ride in my Uber, or the small talks we had had during and after swimming? I could not recall having any flirtatious body language during my stay with him. Maybe it was because I had told him that I was single and so he automatically assumed that it meant I was available to every single man? Or was it because I checked to see if he got home safe? This was something I always did with everyone, whether male or female. I shook my head; the dude was probably drunk, or having a bad day, and just trying his luck. Anyway, I would just have to wait until the next week to reassess the situation during our class and see if I would still be comfortable continuing lessons with him.

The next weekend approached so I texted Mike on Friday.

“Hi, are we still on for tomorrow at 10 am?”

“Who is this?” he responded.

I could not help laughing; this guy must be a petty fellow, I thought to myself. On a second thought, maybe he changed his phone. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and so I replied telling him who I was. His response was cold but funny; he was demanding double the price we had agreed on. There was no need for me to reply, I just blocked and deleted his number. Weirdo, I whispered to myself.

And that was how my swimming for the year came to an end. I had had enough experience for the year for me to go back searching online. I tried to contact some of the professional gym instructors but their schedules did not match mine. Soon enough, winter came by and even though I could have done indoor swimming lessons, the thought of going out even slightly wet in the cold was scary. I would sign up next summer (2019), I told myself but as I wrote earlier, that did not happen. I definitely hope to learn next year 2020 by God’s grace but until then, I cannot help but blame that man in the pool.

Wishing you a happy holiday season!! Don’t forget to leave a comment under the post, like and share the post, and follow me on Instagram (@ugochiukah) and twitter (@vivio_gogo) for updates. Look out for my new blog instragram page. Until next year, by God's grace, kisses. X

HAIR-NIVERSARY (PART 3): THE PHASES OF NEWAFRO (NEW-AFRO)

Hello hi,

I hope you enjoyed part 1 and 2 of this series. This is part 3 below. Enjoy :)

THE PHASES OF NEWAFRO

After my haircut and announcements, I went through various stages of change. First, I tried to adapt to my new routine which included quick showers, hair rubs and sometimes using a brush to give my short afro some curls. I was surprised that I did not missed my old hair as I thought I would. A part of me felt disloyal but I wondered if the feeling was real or whether I was just in denial. I sometimes wore hats, mostly to shield myself from the ever blazing sun but sometimes to add some spice to my look. Making up had never been my calling but every now and then, I made an effort to wear bright lipsticks and wore large earrings and accessories. Although I had not made any plans prior to my hair chop, I hoped to carry my hair the way it was for a minimum of three months before deciding on what next to do. Things were going smoothly and three months went by quickly. I was travelling around Europe when the third month came. By then, my hair had added more volume and needed a change – either a new hair cut or hairstyle to keep it looking tidy. I was sure I was going to cut it again but shortly after I returned home, it began to snow. Everyone warned me not to cut it, your brain would literally freeze, they told me. I believed them as I could already feel the cold air hanging around my head like a halo. So what was I to do? I did not know how to manage hair in general, not to talk about managing a short afro hair. Alas, God heard my prayers and sent me favours through several friends and most conveniently, someone living nearby.

She was a fellow African from a francophone country and even though she was not a hair dresser, she was eager to learn how to make hair. Of course, I was just as eager to let her practice on my hair and that was how our friendship evolved. I came by every other Sunday morning for her to play with my hair; she spoke English while I tried to speak French as she tried different hairstyles – bantu knots, cornrows, twists etc. It was a symbiotic relationship, maybe a little more commensalism since I benefited more from it; but at least it was not parasitic. Each time I returned for another hairdo, she expressed surprise at the rapid growth of my hair. “Wow, it ‘az really grown; so beautiful, so lucky”, she would way with a French accent. I wondered whether she would still consider my hair as beautiful and lucky in a few months, when it would begin to show its true colour.

“You better warn her; you know your hair can cut through a glass” some close friends of mine and my sister suggested. They wanted me to let my new francophone friend know that my hair was neither soft nor gentle; even though it looked deceptively dark and lovely.

“Why should I warn her? She would see it for herself.” I said. “Besides, what if my new hair grew out to be all nice and easy to touch?”

“How is that even possible?”  My sister argued, “As long as the hair is growing from the same scalp, it would grow the same way, unless you change your genes.”

I ignored her; only time would tell how my hair would grow.

And yes, time did tell – as much as I could recall, my hair grew exactly the same way as it had almost 20 years ago, that is the last time I had it short! It sprung like a rain forest, like trees with long spreading branches looking for space such that some fell over my ears. With each centimetre of growth came thicker curls, and with each curl came more tangle. Of course my new friend noticed it– “Ah, your ‘airs are growing up and they are growing wide too”, she exclaimed one day. I laughed and asked her if she still liked the texture, to which she affirmed. Then, I told her stories of my previous hair struggles – how people used to avoid helping me out because my hair was a lot, and how hairdressers used to try to charge me more money when they saw my hair. We both laughed.

Winter finally came to an end and it was time to reconsider cutting the hair. However, it had blossomed into a mid-sized afro and everyone thought it was a good idea to keep it growing, including my new friend. As long as she did not mind helping me out, I did not mind keeping it, I told her. And that was how my hair came to stay, for now at least. After some time, my new friend did not have as much time for my hair. Sometimes I wondered if she was avoiding my hair but I still managed somehow, mostly soliciting help from other friends. I did not want her to feel that I was taking too much advantage of her. I had tried hard to style my hair by myself but I found it challenging, my arms hurt badly whenever I tried and it was never neat. #Teamnatural was not easy and then slowly, I started to miss my old hair a bit. I thought of back then, when it was well relaxed and I could manage to make cornrows by myself without having to ask anyone. Then I realised that I was going through a new phase.

Yes, I had gone through several stages – from feeling unsure of whether to cut my hair, to feeling fly with my short hair, then feeling bored of it, then feeling excited at the rapid hair growth and now sometimes feeling confused. However, through all of these I tried not to complain. After all, I still had HAIR, one that many would kill to have!

Thank you for reading and have yourself a merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Don’t forget to leave a comment under the post, like and share the post and follow me on Instagram (@ugochiukah) and twitter (@vivio_gogo) for updates. As I said in my previous post, I will be creating a new Instagram page for my blog for year 2020 by God’s grace and I hope be more consistent. Thanks again and remain blessed. x.

HAIR-NIVERSARY (PART 2): THE ANNOUCEMENT

Hello hi,

I can't believe the year is almost over; too many things have happened and yet I feel like nothing has happened, ha ha! I know it looks like I'm not serious about blogging or writing stories anymore but guess what, I am actually planning to open a new Instagram page for my blog for next year so that I can upload more stories much more frequently. Trust me this time, I hope you will continue to follow and read :)

So to make up for my absence, I have written 2 blog posts - Christmas bonus, yay! The first one is below and the next one is here. f you have not, don't forget to check out my previous post here too as these three make up the series so far. Enjoy and please leave your comments below.

 THE ANNOUCEMENT

Officially a year and 6 months have passed since I chopped of my hair, almost spontaneously (see previous post, part 1 here). I think back to the very day it happened; after the barber had finished his work, I had looked at my face in the large mirror, moving my head from side to side. I didn’t look bad, I thought to myself. The moment I got back home, I rushed into the bathroom to take a shower. Summer had just begun and the temperatures were as high as 35 degrees Celsius. I had been sweating and feeling dehydrated ever since I moved into the new city, so a lukewarm shower was much appreciated. For the first time in many years, I could feel the drops of water on my scalp within seconds of running the shower. Every drop on my head running down easily to my hooked nose, every touch of air filling up my scalp pores; it was worth it! I dried my hair quickly with a towel, just the way I used to see men do it. Like every millennial, the first thing I did was take a selfie, striking different poses to get different views of my head shape. My head did not appear big, I did not have an ogoo (no big bump sticking out of my skull), there were no bald spots, and I did not look like a boy; thus I was pleased with what I saw.

The next step was to break the news; starting with my family and friends. So I sent a couple of pictures to my mother first and then my younger sister. I knew it would not be my mother’s preferred look but I hoped that she would not dislike it. She responded on WhatsApp in her usual manner: “You’re looking fine”, while my sister said I was brave. Those were good enough for me. Next I called some of my friends one by one on video-chat, all their expressions were similar – from looks of shock, to squinting, to smiling, and then saying that I looked good. My new colleagues were next in line. I went into the office the next day and greeted the secretary at the reception, whom I had met a few times the week before. She responded:

“Hi, how can I help you?”

“It’s me, Vivian.”

“Vivian! What happened to your hair?!”

I burst out laughing; for sure I had expected some surprise but not a complete lack of recognition. From there, the news spread around, colleagues expressed interest in my hair and my new supervisor was able to recognise me with less difficulty than in the past. I say this because before I started working with him, I had met him a few times before at conferences and each time I had to re-introduce myself to him. It was until one day I realised that the issue was my continuous change of hairstyles, so I gave him a great tip “Never try to recognise a black woman by her hair.”  This time around, I think it worked; he had a little smirk on his face when he saw my new haircut and said “Hi Vivian”.

Finally, I put up my photo on social media and then the whole world knew I had cut my hair. Contrasting comments were written under my post, some expressing pleasure, others displeasure, but for me, I felt relieved. The shock was over, my job was done.

Continue here for part 3.

Thank you for reading. Feel free to share with others and follow me on instagram @ugochiukah and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates.

Cheers. X

HAIR-NNIVERSARY – 1 YEAR (PART ONE)

Hello Hi,

It's been ages. I feel like I say this every time I write on my blog these days but a lot keeps happening including lots of travelling and work. I cannot believe that I did not even post on my birthday this year. All the same, thank you very much to all who wished me a happy birthday.

Today is a special day for me as it has been a year since I cut my hair! It's been a journey, I tell you, funny and strange and I wanted to share some of it with you, so here is part 1:

HAIR-NNIVERSARY – 1 YEAR

It’s been exactly a year since I chopped off my hair and even though I would not call it ‘the best decision of my life” (as I did not think it was that deep), I would say it was definitely a big deal for me. You see, I had not cut off my hair for over 15 years and it had grown to become a huge part of me, literally and emotionally. I had loved my hair unlike many others I knew, until after I left the shores of Africa and it began to experience challenges. Some said it was the weather, others said it was the water; it was probably a combination of both and other factors including the lack of appropriate hair care, unlike the one I used to receive back home and in Ghana, where I would go to the hairdresser salon at least twice a week (except when I wore braids). So over the years, the hair started to lose its original texture, colour and length; it had gone from a very dark colour to having streaks of brown with a lot of split ends, even though I had never dyed it. My hair was still full but it did not feel the same and after a few attempts to revive it and a bad incident of a false hairdresser aggravating the issue, I knew I needed to do something drastic to make a change.

So, I started considering chopping it off but I had some concerns including the lack of knowledge on whether it would ever grow again and the absurd fear of looking like a little boy. There were also decisions I had to make regarding the haircut:- would it be a small chop, where I would trim off all the relaxed parts or a slow chop, where I would do different hairstyles including the fringe cut popularly known as the Rihanna, or would it be a big chop where I would cut off the entire hair? After that ,what next – would I keep it short (if so, for how long?) or start growing it afresh immediately afterwards? If I grew it again, would it be grown naturally or relaxed; how would I be able to take care of it now, if I could not take care of it in the past? If I decided to cut my hair, when would I do it; randomly or perhaps on my 30^th birthday (as that was a time generally expected of a woman to make big changes)? I had several questions dancing around in my head for over a year, lots of conversations with my friends that had gone through similar paths, prayers from my mum before she finally gave her approval and I even had a few haircut misses, including on my 30^th birthday, where I chickened out.

It was not until last July (2018) that it finally happened. I was now in a more diverse city with lots of hair salons that catered for girls of my colour. Therefore, it was a good place for me to revive my hair through proper care, I thought to myself. The idea of cutting my hair was now much smaller, sitting somewhere at the back of my head, since I had decided to give my hair growth one more chance. It was on a Friday, July 6^th to be precise, that a friend of mine told me he was going to the barber’s salon. There was a ladies salon right next to it, he told me as he knew I had been looking for a place to do my hair since I was new to the city, so I chose to follow him. On the way there, I started teasing “you know, I might just cut my hair today”. He laughed and shook his head as he had heard me say that before. We got to the store; it had a big shop with hair products for both men and women and at the back, were the male and female salons, adjacent to each other. I took a number each for both salons and sat to wait my turn; whichever I got called into first would be my decision I thought to myself although at this point, I still thought I was kidding myself. As I sat there, I could not help but notice how calm the guys were, just sitting and their hairs being shaved off whereas some of the ladies looked like they were in discomfort with their heads tilted to different positions. I looked at the men with envy while still secretly hoping that I would be called first into the ladies.

Alas, in a few minutes, it was my turn to cut my hair. The barber signalled to me to take a seat and asked me what I wanted. I started to dig through my phone to find an old picture of a nice haircut I had saved back when I was seriously considering chopping my hair, when suddenly I heard someone shout:

“What are you planning to do?!” The other barber cutting my friend’s hair asked in surprise. “I’m going to cut my hair” I smiled nervously. “Ba why (But why)?” he asked, I could instantly tell that he was Ghanaian.

He turned to my friend “So you brought her here for this”, my friend responded that it was not his idea. On the other hand, my barber seemed not care and was already flexing his scissors.

“Don’t do it, please” The other barber insisted but my barber was ready. I already had the red cloth tied around me and with one huge round of chop, half of my hair was gone. I looked down to the floor to see the huge quantity of hair that had been shed. Seeing my hair brought a weird mixture of feelings; while one part of me initially felt like it was missing, another part of me felt like it was the beginning of freedom. And with the latter thought in my head, I held back tears and braved it through until the end

TO BE CONTINUED…

Thank you for reading. Feel free to share with others and follow me on instagram @ugochiukah and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates.

Cheers. X

HAPPY NEW YEAR: 2019 GOALS

Hello hi,

Happy new year! It’s already the fourth day of 2019, wow! Time really does fly fast. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and holiday season. I can’t believe how long it’s been since I posted a story on my blog. The last time was on my birthday April 24^th last year and since then, so much has happened. 2018 was an adventurous year for me: I moved to a new city, started a new job, cut my hair, became fully single again and so much more. Still those are not good excuses for not writing so I’ll try to do better this year. I know I said that last year and I remember when I used to post bi-weekly, so I can really do this. It’s not like I don’t have stories to write, whether fiction or facts, actually I wrote quite number last year but just did not post them on my blog L

                                                  Photo location: Chichen itza, Mexico

Anyway, as usual I like to review my previous year’s goals and make the new year’s goals; I usually write 10 goals per year. I can’t exactly find the sheet of paper where I wrote the last one because I packed it up somewhere when I was moving but I think I remember them. So in no particular order, here’s a self-review of 2018 goals:

1. To get HAPPILY married: LMAO! Now I don’t even know where to start from with this goal. Similar to goals 5-7 below, I’ve carried this goal over several years. In 2017, it was the last goal on my list and when I did not achieve it, I put it as the number 1 on my 2018 list, with the hope that I would be reminded to work on it more. Somehow, that did not work as every time I looked at my sheet of paper pinned on my work board, my eyes somehow went straight to the second goal. Honestly, I was closer to touching to the iguanas I recently saw at the El Rey ruins than I was to achieving this goal. Last year, I barely went out on dates, not to talk of getting into a relationship or getting married. However, I recently heard someone say that you can’t plan love and I think they’re right. So maybe I can’t really blame myself. 😅

2. To get my full driver’s license: This was the earliest goal that I achieved last year and I am so proud of myself, because I honestly thought it would be the hardest for me. After some months of practice, I got my license in March. My road test was a weird one as I was not able to parallel–park properly, something I still struggle with but the instructor had faith in me and let me pass. And ever since then, I’ve been cruising in cars! Lol, okay that’s a lie. I think I’ve only driven about 10 times alone since I got the license and I have managed to scratch only 1 person’s car (luckily he let me go away freely). So I would say I’m a pretty good driver👅

3. To get a job: This was the next goal I achieved last year; getting a new position. I still feel like I’m settling into the job, location and people in general but I am excited to see what the future holds.

4. To weigh and maintain 58kg: Aha! This was a tricky goal as my weight kept fluctuating the whole of last year and finally, I hit the goal by December 20^th but lost it on Christmas day from too much eating, lol. So definitely, it’s a carry-over for this year.

5. Learning how to swim: Believe me I tried my best; took some group swimming lessons where I learned to be a bit more comfortable in water. I also tried to take a private swimming class but my instructor turned out to be weird, hee hee (I’ll share that in another blog post). So I put it on a short hold but I’ll definitely learn this year by God’s grace.

6. Learning how to bike: Another activity that I tried to do and I actually think I can bike now but I’m just not confident, so I definitely need more practice. I would have been where I wanted to be by now but someone stole my bike L so I have to get or at least rent a new one.

7. Improving my French language skills: To be fair, I think I have improved but just not at the pace I wanted to. I took some French lessons earlier last year which I did not like and I also did not practice very much. However, now I’m in a French speaking place so I am more motivated to learn.

8. Publish at least 10 journal articles: I did publish, perhaps 5, but this is one that I have to continuously work on so I’m charging up this year J.

9 & 10. Publish more frequently on my blog and finish writing my novel: These are 2 goals that I have to confess I did the least work on and I am not pleased with myself. Like I said, I’ll change this year. However, I did take a creative writing course for the first time last year which was exciting and I learnt new things that I would like to employ in my writing.

So yeah, those were my 2018 goals and despite not achieving some (or maybe most) of them, I achieved other unplanned things and had new experiences such as ballroom dancing (thanks to my friend, Benita for introducing me to it), trying out new sports, travelling to more countries, and forming new connections. Therefore, I’m still happy with where I am today and thankful to the Almighty. I was also able to work more on myself and I learnt how to calmly walk away from uncomfortable situations/people, a skill that takes more self-control than I imagined. It’s not like I’ve ever been a raging storm but I used to talk back at every situation and sometimes said things that I would not have wanted to say. I also learnt how to forgive, including forgiving myself, and letting go (including letting go of people when necessary); it’s funny because I had named 2018 a year of forgiveness.

For this year, I’m revising some goals and carrying over some that I need to, but with better aims and objectives than I had last year so that I can actually achieve them. I’m also going to work more on my listening skills as I tend to zone out a lot (most in boring meetings, lol); and also work on my patience level as it’s a virtue I can strive to attain. Don’t test me yet as I may not have achieved it or else you might not like what you get :P.

Here are my official 2019 goals:

1. To go out on dates at least twice a month 💑💑💑💑💑 : Well since I can’t plan love/marriage, I can definitely plan dates and that’s exactly what I intend to do this year. I’d love to explore different dating experiences. Perhaps, I should pick random countries from every continent (except Antarctica; in the case of Australia, I can try different cities) and date guys from there. It’ll be some sort of world tour and improve my relationship CV by adding inclusion and diversity :D. Imagine having a relationship CV that states: “…is well-diverse in the dating realm; loves to eat so there’ll be no left-overs; can drive well at least 9 out of 10 times; always rises by 6am regardless of location so no need to set an alarm; can do basic salsa and cha-cha moves, thereby providing more home entertainment; more patient than would have been if you had met me the year before; has good fleeing skills; can zone out of conversations without anyone knowing…” and much more! What dude wouldn’t love these?!😁

Er...please nobody should mention this to my mother as she will organise fasting and prayer for me by tomorrow morning to get rid of any evil, promiscuous spirit 😈, LOL. I only said I want to date more often, I didn’t say that I was going to “fall pregnant”, hee hee.👅

2. To enter into a short story writing competition: This is something I’ve always wanted to do and so I’ll give it a shot this year. Wish me good luck!

3. To acquire a new art skill: either playing the piano or painting, knitting or sewing: I’m going to look for classes or use YouTube.

Some carry-over goals:

4. Improving my French: I’m still using Duolingo app everyday and I’m going to register for a new class next week plus I intend to practice more in this new environment,

5. To weigh and maintain 58kg; 6. Learning how to swim & 7. Learning how to bike: I can do #5 once I get rid of all the food I ate during the festive period; I’ll register for #6 in spring time and I’ll find new bike friends in the spring/summer for #7.
8. Publish at least 10 journal articles: Same as last year's #8 but this time, I hope to achieve all J.

9. Start up a small money-making business venture: I’m still thinking but at least it’s a start J.

And the last but not the least:

10. Volunteering for a good cause: I used to volunteer a lot when I lived in England mostly to promote good mental health awareness but I’ve not done so in a long time. This year, I’d like to get back to volunteering a bit of my time for an organisation that helps women and/or children. It could be in the church, community or wherever so if you have any ideas, please let me know.

I pray to achieve these goals and hopefully I’ll update you by this time next year. I also pray you achieve yours and I wish you a wonderful 2019.

As my dad would always say “Last year was good, may the New Year be much better” Amen.

Lest I forget, happy belated birthday to my younger sis, Odi and my eldest bro Iheanyi, God bless you.xx

Cheers and see you next time on my blog. x

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