BIRTHDAY PARTY DURING A PANDEMIC - 24/04/2020

Hello hi,

I hope everyone is doing okay and holding up strong during this time. It was my birthday a few days ago, actually on Friday, April 24^th and I turned 32 years old! Whoop whoop! At first, I was not sure of how I was going to celebrate the day as I could not have my usual recent birthday traditions– pre-birthday photoshoot out somewhere, dress up, more photos and dinner with friends on my actual birthday, and of course ice-cream cake with my name spelt on it! So when a friend of mine asked me a few weeks before about how I intended to celebrate my birthday, my response was “no idea”. I already knew that it would be impossible to order an ice-cream cake for delivery as it would melt before getting to my place. I did not know of any nice cake factory either, until a colleague of mine recommended one to another colleague during our weekly calls and then I took note. With the whole Zoom party craze going on since the COVID19 situation, it crossed my mind to have my own party but I pushed it aside. I did not want to have an evening party, as a matter of fact, I wanted to go to bed early as I knew I would be up early on my birthday receiving phone calls. So I thought to myself - on my birthday, order a cake, dress up, and take selfies; fullstop.

However as the day approached, I started having a feeling of not wanting to be left out. I began to want more – more than just selfies or stuffing my face with cake. So yes, a few days earlier, I did order a cake but I also called a neighbour and asked if she could help me take pre-birthday photos of me in a socially-distant manner. What did that even mean? Well, I put my cell phone, a camera, and a hand sanitizer in a bag and hung it by her door. She wore a mask, we went downstairs just in front of my building and she took photos of me quickly. Throughout the photoshoot, she was more than 6ft apart from me and when she finished, she dropped the bag with my photo apparel by the door. I used another hand sanitizer to wipe down everything, and then wash my hands. I was impressed with our delivery and showed my younger sister, Odi the nice photos. But those were pre-birthday photos and I knew I still wanted more for my actual birthday. So my sister urged me to try taking photos of myself using my phone timer. I did not have a tripod so I set the phone at different angles by my window seal on my balcony while Odi directed me as to where the ‘good light’ was and the appropriate distance. After a while, I decided to make use of some old boxes, layering them and resting the phone on them until I got the photos right. I was happy with the practice and ready for my birthday in a few day’s time.

My tripod, hee hee.

A close friend of mine had just had a mini-zoom party for her husband which went well and so almost last minute, I finally decided to have something similar. I created a zoom account, invited my family and a few friends to watch me cut my cake and send their well-wishes. Since it was a free zoom account, the call was scheduled to last for 40 minutes maximum. The invitation was for noon and dress code was yellow, although I did not tell everyone because most of those I had already told said they did not have anything yellow to wear. Because I invited people from different time zones, I knew some would still be working or just finishing from work so I planned not to stay too long on the Zoom call. My only concern was that people might log in late (as per African time). My cake had arrived the day before, looking much bigger than l had expected.

My birthday came; as usual, I had phone calls, did my usual morning activities, wore some makeup and started my zoom call about 10 minutes earlier. To my surprise, some of my family members were already calling it and as a matter of fact, most of the invitees were right on time with some even wearing yellow! I was pleasantly surprised. My elder sister and her whole family wore yellow too, even though I had not even told her the dress code – I was thrilled #yellowgang. A cousin of mine wore a full on Igbo attire with the red cap, lol. Everyone was on point! They sang happy birthday to me, multiple times actually as I made the latecomers sing each time they logged in, ha ha. Then I cut my cake on the spell of JESUS and everyone gave their well wishes, which was really sweet. A few people had to leave to go back to work or other duties but most people hung around. I ate some of my cake, played some music and danced, and all of them danced as well J The call lasted for 2 hours because somehow Zoom decided to extend my free time, it was amazing!

After my Zoom party call, I had a few work group calls and everyone sang happy birthday to me. In between the calls, I went to my balcony, set up my new “tripod stand” and took these lovely photos that you see. In the evening, I cut some slices of cakes for my neighbours, called them on the phone, and left them at their door. It was indeed a perfect day and my best birthday in a long time. One of my good friends described it in the screenshot below:

So at the end of the day, I had everything I wanted and more – I had my amazing family and friends (over 20 people) from different time zones and locations, all at the same time on my screen. If not for the current Coronavirus situation and technology (Zoom), this would not have happened. Lest I forget to mention, I also have my zoom call recording. So I am thankful for the opportunity I had and the love bestowed upon me by these wonderful people who sacrificed their time and joined Zoom, in no particular order– Ada and her family, Odi, Aunty Linda, Nonso, Alex, Ezinne, Ngonne, Chidin(m)ma (x2), Marilyn, Sylvia (x2), Menglan, Janie, Reem, Jennifer (x2), Bobby, Nnamdi, Stephanie, Ugo and Chika (my birthday mate); and of course to those who wanted to but could not make it – my mum, Nkem, Prince, and Ngo, whose delivery was ALMOST timed perfectly by the way, ha ha. Special thanks to the rest of my family and friends, and to my colleagues and everyone who sent me birthday wishes through phone calls, emails, and social media.

Cheers to my new age and I look forward to many more celebrations! To God be the glory for ever, Amen.

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates (my main Instagram page is @ugochiukah). Until next time, please try to stay coronavirus free. Have a great week and God bless. Xoxo.

EASTER 2020 (LENTEN GOALS AND RICE WATER REVIEW)

Hello hi,

Happy Easter! I hope everyone is doing well during these times. As you know, we have to stay safe, hopeful and prayerful.

Today officially marks the end of lent, which means we can now shout Hallelujah (Alleluia), Christ is risen indeed. As we start the Easter season of the church calendar, I have decided to review my lent goals which I outlined here. Before I start my lent review, I also did a review of using rice water for hair in this video below so check it out J

LENTEN GOALS REVIEW

I wrote about 3 main things that I wanted to do during lent, so I want to take a look back to see how far I came:

1. Abstinence from meat: I did not eat any meat, that is, beef, chicken, goat, pork etc. except for fish throughout the lent period. This means that I did not have meat for 43 days, wow! (besides one time when I had lentil soup in a restaurant before the pandemic and I realised afterwards that there may have been meat in the soup).  And the funniest part is that I did not even miss meat during the period or feel tempted to eat. Maybe it was because I was mostly confined to my house (self-isolation due to the corona virus pandemic) and so I was able to make different delicious fish and other protein-rich dishes, whereas if I had gone to restaurants during the weekends (as often used to be the case), I may have had limited choices.

2. Attending stations of the cross: I went for the first two weeks and by the third week, we were on lockdown. I tried to follow the way of the cross via Youtube as much as possible, although I think I missed it once or twice and I fell asleep a few times. But at least I tried :)

3. Friday kissing: Well, given the current situation, I did not even have to try hard to abstain from kissing anyone, so my lips are pure, lol. I did not even kiss the Veneration cross on Good Friday. I have to add though that there were still a handful of people asking me out on dates during this period, which was shocking to me. But of course, I stayed indoors except when necessary (taking walks by myself and grocery shopping).

So what about you? Were you able to keep your Lenten promises or goals? Let me know in the comment section.

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates (my main Instagram page is @ugochiukah). Until next time, please try to stay coronavirus free. Have a great week and God bless. Xoxo.

TEN THINGS I HAVE (RE)LEARNT DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

Hello hi,

It’s been just over 2 weeks since my last blog post here and the word has changed enormously between then and now. I remember making a joke about the priests potentially greeting the congregation members using fist-bumps by the next Sunday. Sadly, large gatherings including church services were cancelled so I have not been able to go to church since then. Additionally, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared the coronavirus (COVID19) a pandemic, therefore I hope that everyone is being alert and do their best to stay safe. While things seem to be getting better with the virus issue in some countries such as South Korea and even China, the situation is horrific in countries like Italy and Spain. I have been trying to keep up with the numerous emails and news of the virus situation, as I am sure many of you are.

Presently, I am self-isolating and practising social distancing, therefore I have not been able to go into the office, so I am forced to work from home (or at least try to work). Social distancing means not having visitors including neighbours, staying away from crowds (currently more than 1 person), staying 6 feet or 2 meters away from the next person, and also avoiding dates (yes, you read correctly). In my last video, I talked about dating during this period; if you have not watched it, you can watch them on my Instagram (@UgochiUkah) here: part 1 and part 2, or the full video is on my Youtube channel here , if the video below does not play.

During this period of self-isolation, I have made several observations about myself and others, and I have learnt some things that I did not know of, or did not realise how impactful they were. Of course, I already knew certain things such as how working at home is annoying (for me at least), but this period made me realise how unproductive it can really be, unless I take drastic measures. However, there were a few other things I had not really paid attention to or realised. Therefore, in this post I will be sharing 10 things I have learnt so far or been reminded of, during the coronavirus pandemic.

10 THINGS I HAVE (RE)LEARNT DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

1. I have always been a hermit: Okay, maybe not literally but for almost all of my adulthood I have lived by myself, away from my family and friends. This has been due to my academic background, having me move from one country to another, even before I turned 18 years old. I also attribute this solitary behaviour to my preference of staying at home except when necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I still know how to “turn up” or socialize if I have to but if I don’t, you’d find me indoors probably on a phone call with my family or close friends. Therefore, when we were asked to self-isolate ourselves, nothing felt different for me (except the working at home part). As a matter of fact, I almost found it funny how people seemed so worried about being at home. Hello? Welcome to my life!

2. Some professions are invaluable: It’s no surprise that medical doctors, nurses, and pharmacists are very important people in the society. Kudos to them and all the healthcare workers that have been put in the frontline to attend to patients during this period. Apart from these professions, I’m happy to see other professions that have been in the dark (or appear so) being recognised now e.g. farmers, grocery workers, airline staff, postage and delivery guys, IT folks, scientists and researchers, including epidemiologists and public health fellows. I can’t tell you how all of a sudden people have started asking me questions about health and the coronavirus J While I would like to help you, I can’t do so unfortunately, because my area is not in infectious diseases. However, you can stay well-informed about the virus through WHO or your national health ministry websites.

3. Good people truly exist: In a world where we sometimes experience disappointment from people including ‘friends’, we often find ourselves doubting whether good people exist. However, I have heard so many wonderful stories during this period, including young people helping to do grocery shopping for the elderly, stores creating specific shopping times for the elderly too, people volunteering to stop the spread of the virus including some healthcare workers coming out of retirement, and several donations have been made to feed people and combat this pandemic. I am really inspired by all of these and grateful for the efforts put in place. We too can be good people by checking up on our family, friends, colleagues, and older people using technology. Another way that we can be good is by not getting in the way of these workers, therefore please stay at home unless necessary (I’ll tell you when necessary later in this post).

4. A lot of people have misplaced priorities: It’s surprising and annoying how some people are not taking this pandemic serious despite the current global news. Some people are still partying, going for award shows, and even tweeting fake or irrelevant information about the virus. Suddenly, people are making disease burden comparisons with regular influenza (flu), malaria, or HIV. While these other sicknesses are important, they are not global pandemics at the moment and comparing crude numbers of death (rather than incident mortality rate per infected person) is not helpful in encouraging people to take precautions. What is even more annoying is that many of these people are not real advocates for anything; a lot of them have never advocated for the prevention of malaria or HIV before now, so why distract or discourage people from being alert about the coronavirus? If you don’t have anything useful to say, just stay at home quietly, Please!

5. Anything can be politicised: Speaking of priorities, it is quite a shame to watch how some politicians have used the endemic as a selfish weapon. While some leaders are fighting hard to keep their people safe, others are more interested in the economy, stock markets, waiting for their children to return from abroad before they shut down the borders etc. I hope this would serve as a lesson for all to vote “right” in future elections.

6. Travelling is a privilege: When my department first imposed a travel ban, I was upset because I had lots of exciting trips and conferences that I was looking forward to. So you can imagine my grudge when I had to cancel reserved and unreserved trips (5 and counting), when all I had in mind this year was to travel around the world. I grumbled bitterly until my mother had to remind me that life and health were more important. And yes, I also probably had my priorities wrong (just like those people hoarding toilet paper, lol) but at the time when this first happened, the virus was still at the beginning phase (except for China) and not yet a pandemic – so don’t judge me. Nonetheless, I have had to re-evaluate my needs and wants during this period and now, I am more aware of how privileged and blessed I have been. I am really thankful for all the times I got to travel and hopefully for my travels in the future.

7. I have movie commitment issues: Having access to Netflix, you would think that I would have finished watching all the movies online. However, this is not the case for me, because I find myself starting to watch a movie and stopping halfway. They are either too long, too boring, too serious, or too predictable/cliché for me, or sometimes I don’t even remember that I started watching a movie until Netflix reminds me. This probably explains why I only go to the movie theatre on average once a year and usually end up watching movies on the plane.

8. I really like the church: I’m a regular Sunday church goer; the only time I don’t go to church is when I travel and/or I can’t find a church in the new place. However, I don’t think that I really paid attention to how much it had become a part of my life and that I enjoy it, until these past 2 weeks where we have had to stay at home. I still try to follow the service online for now, hoping that thing will get better.

9. Connection and communication are key: In this period, it is important to stay in touch with loved ones and communicate remotely. This is essential for good mental health and can also serve as a motivation for other things such as exercising and staying fit. I have regular check-in buddies for exercise, work plan, spiritual check-in etc. Sometimes with isolation, you can either find your passion or fall into depression. So make sure that you have a way to stay in touch, not only with the news but also with others.

10. Finally, family is everything: If you don’t know that by now, you better give your family members a call and check up on them.

So those are my 10 lessons so far from this pandemic. Before I sign off, I would like you to place your hand on your chest and say these words:

“I will stay at home unless I have to:

·       Visit the doctor or

·       Buy groceries or food to eat (and not to hoard) or

·       Take a walk* for physical activity purposes (not to smoke). If I take a walk, I will walk alone - just me, myself, and I, except for with household members.^±

So help me God. Amen.”

*Please check with your place of residence if you are allowed to take walks.

^±Please note that ‘household members’ means people living in the same house/apartment with you, and not neighbours or people living in your apartment building.

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates (my main Instagram page is @ugochiukah). Until next time, please stay safe and stay indoors. Have a great week and God bless. Xoxo.

DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS FOR EFFECTIVE SHOOTING OF SHOTS

Hello hi,

Happy Sunday and happy international women’s day. To every woman out there, no matter what you think of yourself, you rock!

Before I get into today’s write-up, I have to say that we should all be alert during the Corona Virus issue because it’s spreading really quickly. By now, you should have heard of simple prevention techniques such as washing of hands – it would surprise you how many people don’t wash their hands regularly even after a toilet use. I once saw a public health researcher in the shared bathroom who did not wash hands after use. When I reminded the person to do so, their response was “You know we black people have strong immunity”. I was in shock! Also, avoid touching your face and other people. I was pleasantly surprised to see the measures put in place in Church today – there were hand sanitizers everywhere and most people did not bother shaking hands during the peace sharing. However, there was a nice elderly woman who always walks around shaking hands and today, a few people refused to respond; I felt bad for her. There were also a few other awkward moments, for example, anyone who coughed during mass was given the eye and so you could hear some people struggling hard not to cough out loud. The priests refused to bless people on their foreheads after mass but instead waved at the congregation. I even saw one of them elbow-greet a parishioner which looked funny. At this rate, if the virus situation does not improve, by next Sunday we might see priests fist-bumping us like “What’s up, bro in Christ?” Ha ha! Anyway, better to be safe than infected.

DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS

So back to today’s topic is on how to effectively slide into DMs (direct messages). For those of you who don't know what sliding in the DMs means, it is when you contact someone, that you typically don't know or don't have their phone numbers, by directly messaging them through social media platform. Since we now live in the social media age, there’s been a lot of sliding and “shooting of shots” via Instagram, twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn…everywhere you can think of. People slide in for different reasons – to seek for job, love, friendship. Whatever the reason may be, having proper etiquette is important and yet in 2020, some people still get it wrong. Therefore, it is no surprise that many sliders (the seeker or person making first contact) are immediately flushed out or ignored by the slidees (the person sought after). I have some tips for you today that I believe can help you in your sliding activity, especially for romantic purposes. Here they are (You may thank me later, wink):

1. Do your research: I know you might think this is just the researcher in me talking but this is the most important step as it will guide you throughout the process. As a slider, you should know what kind of things the slidee is interested in e.g. arts, music, travelling etc. This may help you not only to start a conversation but also to hold it. It will also show that you have genuine interest in the person and that you might be a smart person. It does not have to be anything complicated or involve stalking, it could just be as simple as looking through their profile, photos, and reading their captions. Imagine if you started talking to someone and they responded and you asked them where they live, meanwhile their location was boldly stated on their profile (duh?). I believe if you were applying for a job, you would look up the company. So as with everything in life, try to do a bit of research before sliding into anyone’s dm.

2. Do make yourself accessible to your slidee: When people get DMs, they may decide to look up the slider. Therefore if your profile is private, you might lose a chance of being responded to, because I don’t think any slidee would send you a friend request just to see what you look like or who you are. So if you want to slide into someone’s DM, I think it’s best to unlock your profile, at least temporarily.

3. Do make your profile match up: Just in case the slidee gets to look you up, it is also necessary to ensure that your profile is interesting or at least clean enough to attract them. For example, it does not make sense if you slide into a female activist’s DM and yet you have some misogynistic tweets. If they like to read, you might want to make your profile picture a photo of you reading, ha ha. Okay, nobody is asking you to pretend or change who you are but make sure that your profile shows that you could be a good match for the slidee.

4. Do not be a creep or weirdo: There’s this thing that many people do where they just randomly decide to like all your photos in one minute and then say hi. For sure, you would have been noticed but as a weirdo, which is not something that would be beneficial to you. It’s okay to like some pictures when they are put up but not all in one day. Also, if you finally get attention from the slidee, don’t start sending d*ck pics or making weird requests. Recently, some “stranger” dude who slid into my DM demanded for a video call. I use the word “demanded” because he kept insisting, even when I told him no and things went downhill from there.

5. Do say more than just “hi”: When you slide into someone’s DM, saying “Hi” is not enough. You should ask how they’re doing, introduce yourself, and then continue the conversation if they respond. It’s bizarre for someone to say hi and the slidee says hello and nothing else is said until the next time, the slider says hi again and it becomes a cycle. By the third hi, I personally would not respond because I would have labelled you as a “monitoring spirit” by then. This is also important for female sliders as some women think it’s okay to just say hi and expect the guys to carry on the conversation. Remember that the onus is primarily on whoever the slider is. As I said earlier, this is where you can put into use the information you gathered during your research.

6. Do not write an essay: I know I just said you should introduce yourself but that does not mean you should write an epistle. Some people write their whole story before the slidee even gets the chance to respond and honestly, nobody has time to read long paragraphs. So keep it simple, use nice catchphrases – think about it as a phrase you would use to sell yourself on your resume.

7. Do consider the platform: When you decide to slide into someone’s DM, it is important to understand the social media space you are using. If it is Instagram, it might be okay to be a bit flirty where you could say their picture is cute but on LinkedIn, try to start a little more professional even if you want something more. For example, start the conversation with career related things – you could say you admire their work or you’ve read their publication and you think it’s great. That might make them respond better.

8. Do remember records: Know that if you slide into someone’s DM, your messages may have been saved, even if not replied to. And even if you go to delete them, the slidee may have screen-grabbed them. So bear this in mind whenever you write something so that you never send information that may be used against you in the future.

9. Do be natural and honest: Being yourself is always the best you can be. At the end of the day, if the slidee decides to respond and things go well, you might have a date. And you definitely don’t want to come across as a liar at that stage. It would look really bad on you.

10. Finally Do not be a sore loser: You win some, you lose some. Don’t suddenly become disrespectful because someone ignored you or turned you down. You’d just come across like those market guys that beckon on you to buy something from their stalls “Psst, fine girl come and buy” and when you don’t respond, they say “Ugly girl, nobody likes you”. Don’t forget that it’s a small world and you don’t know if you might meet them somewhere someday.

So those are my 10 guaranteed tips, you’re welcome! If you ever use them and they work, let me know, especially as I have not yet put them into practice :P

Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates. My main Instagram page is @ugochiukah

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Have a great week and stay safe. God bless. X

FROM DUST TO DUST

Hello hi,

It’s been a minute since I last wrote. I’m trying hard not to say “how time flies” because it seems like I say that every time, but can you believe that it’s already almost the end of February?! Anyway, I hope the year has been going good for you so far. For me, it’s been busy and a few things have happened since the last time I wrote. For example, I was invited to give a talk on careers in academia, one of the highlights of my career so far which I am thankful for. Another thing that happened was that Valentine’s day came and passed and we (I mean single people) survived! LOL. Honestly, these days I don’t even remember when it comes because I am always at a conference during that period. So unless I check social media or I get a message or some goodies, then it escapes me. This year, I got some flowers and chocolate, but as usual they were not from a lover/boyfriend/husband. They were actually from a friend (‘s wedding, hee hee) so technically, they don’t count as valentine’s presents but all the same, I was happy. Next thing that happened was that I went skiing, again! But this time, I had improved very much,if I say so myself – actually my ski instructor said so too and my video here is proof :P.

I also ate too much at the conference, who wouldn’t? There were lots of great dishes for every meal of the day and all were buffet! I knew I had gained weight within my short stay over there and my plan was to go on a diet immediately I returned home. Before travelling, I had cleared my fridge and so when I got home, I had nothing to eat. So I decided to have some nuts – pecans and spicy corns, as well as some cookies I had brought back with me, and then start my fruit cleanse the next day. However, I think I ate too much of everything plus the pecans and before I knew it, I was having severe diarrhoea and vomiting. That was how I spent the next day, in and out of the toilet and pharmacy, and for the next few days, I felt extremely weak. The next day I weighed myself, I had already lost 1kg, isn’t God great?! Ha ha!

Now I can laugh about it but I tell you, it was a very scary experience for me. The last time I had suffered this severely from a gastro infection was when I was in primary school, from a class project of fruit salad. I had passed out and ended up in my school clinic where my mother had to come and pick me from. I spent days at the hospital as I was unable to eat without vomiting and after then, my mother banned me from eating fruit salad which I adhered to until just a few years ago. So when I fell ill again this time, unable to eat, I feared for myself especially as I was alone. I was so weak that I could barely speak or stand. Thankfully, the Lord sent my neighbours to my aid and one of them even ended up sleeping with me that night to make sure I was okay. I eventually regained my strength after about a week of taking oral rehydration therapy, gravol, plantain boiled by my neighbour and bread from another neighbour. I can’t thank them enough for their kindness! Also, to think that all of these just happened last week, and I can blog today makes me realise how blessed I am. It reminds me that life can be fickle and you never know what tomorrow holds….which brings me to what I am writing about today titled:

FROM DUST TO DUST

Today is Ash Wednesday. If you are unfamiliar with what this season is about, it is the beginning of fasting period and lent season for Catholics, which lasts for about 40 days before Easter. There’s always mass (church service) on the Wednesday whereby the priest puts an ash in the shape of a cross on the foreheads of the congregation and either says “From dust you came and to dust you shall return” or “Repent and believe in the Gospel”. The church members usually leave the ashes on their forehead for the whole day as a reminder of where we came from and as a sign of repentance. Most people go for either early morning or late evening mass for Ash Wednesday but today, I went to church during my work break as there was a noon mass. When I returned to the office, I had forgotten about the ash on my forehead until my colleagues started to ask me about it. Some wondered if I had stained myself with soot and someone even asked if I had had an accident. This was the first time I had ever had to explain this much to people as the previous places I had lived in, most people knew what the symbol meant or simply did not ask. However, I was happy to do so.

During this period we (Catholics) are expected to do 3 main things – 1) Pray more, 2) Fast or abstain from something, and 3) Give alms to the poor. In the past, I had abstained from Starbucks drinks, meat, dating, gossiping, keeping grudges against people, and I think I even tried once to abstain from listening to secular music. A few people have asked me what I am giving up this time and after much thought, I have chosen 3 things to focus on:

1. Abstaining from Meat (beef/chicken/pork) – I will not be cooking any of these during this lent season and I will try my best to avoid them, except in public places where there are no other ‘good’ options. Please note that this does not include fish J

2. Attending the stations of the cross – For some years, I have not attended the stations of the cross held every Friday. This usually consists of prayers and portrayal of the period from the carrying of the cross to the crucifixion of Jesus. I stopped attending because there were always meeting conflicts; usually Zumba class or something else fell on the same time. However, this year I will try to attend more often. I think additional going to church on Fridays for an hour will not hurt my fitness regime.

3. Speaking of Fridays, I will be giving up kissing on Fridays. This is not to say that I have been kissing around or that I even have someone or people to kiss, lol. I’m just adding this just in case…, you never know J You might also be wondering why on Fridays, well I don’t exactly have an answer except that it is usually considered the most solemn day of the week for Catholics.

So these are my decisions for lent. How about you, will you be giving up something? By the way, you don’t have to be catholic to join the band; I know lots of non-religious people who take opportunity of this season to improve themselves spiritually and otherwise. So feel free to join and comment on what you might want to give up. J

Until my next blogpost, stay well and live life to the fullest and in gratitude. Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates. My main Instagram page is @ugochiukah

Thank you for reading my post and please share. God bless. X

NO FIRE ON THE MOUNT

Hello hi,

Happy new month! It's February already , how these months fly, I can't understand. The next thing I know, we might be celebrating Christmas again. Oh well, I hope that the month of January was a good one for you at least. Mine was busy but great; lots of opportunities that I am thankful to God for.

I was initially going to share a different story today, but I decided to share this one. Enjoy and fell free to share with friends.

NO FIRE ON THE MOUNT

The year had only just begun, at least for Stella, even though it was already the first day of the second month. She had been sleep-deprived for days, owing mostly due to her work load, but also partly because of indiscipline in going to bed early. This habit used to be unusual for her until recent times, where she found herself walking around in aimlessly in her apartment or watching random videos on Youtube until the late hours of the night. She blamed the insomnia on the weather; it was awful! She also blamed it on her hormones, they were sometimes annoying visitors. So once again, she had failed to sleep early on the last day of January and before she could help herself, the clock struck past midnight. She had failed to even realise it was the start of February, the month of love. However, that did not mean much to her anyway, as she had never had the chance to really celebrate it. In the past, she had hoped for a day where she would go out on Valentine’s day for a romantic dinner with someone special and be showered with lots of gifts, mostly expensive ones as that was her taste. She had occasionally received gifts, chocolates, and flowers on valentine’s day but they had never been from lovers. Therefore, that day was still yet to come for her. But this particular day was not the day for such thoughts. She really needed to go to bed now because she had a hair appointment in the morning. Thus, she would need to wash and dry her hair before the hair dresser came.

As she prepared for the night - her usual face and mouth wash, and change into her nightwear, she could not help but notice the smell of cigarette smoking coming into her apartment. Damn that new neighbour again! He was a weird looking dude who she never spoke to. He must have been smoking on the corridor or close enough, for the smell to penetrate into her apartment. In general, she loathed the smell of the smoke, weed, and every other drug. She wondered if there was a way she could stop this neighbour from smoking – she had already stopped the other neighbour from smoking on the shared balcony, but this new guy looked like he would be more difficult to manage. Besides, it was too late for her to knock on his door so she searched the internet to see if smoking inside the apartment was illegal. Sadly, there did not seem to be a clear cut rule and so for she had to let it go. At least the smell was not in her bedroom, she said to herself, as she cuddled under her blanket and began to doze off.

Krrrr krrrr krrr…a continuous loud sound startled her from her dream. It took her a few minutes to realise that it was the fire alarm. Oh gosh, what could the matter be?! She waited in her bedroom for five minutes but the alarm continued. She knew she was supposed to leave the building until it stopped but she felt incredibly tired and only hoped that it would be a false alarm. Her watch told her that the time was half past 1 am. Ten minutes later, nothing had changed. She was beginning to hear the sounds of other neighbours leaving their apartments but she stubbornly stayed back in hers. Another five minutes passed and then she called the fire department. They asked her if there was an actual fire in the building, she said she did not think so but that she thought it came from her neighbour smoking. They said there was nothing they could do about it and asked her to dial 911. She called 911, repeated the same story and they transferred her to the fire department. The firemen were on their way and had asked her to wait for them downstairs, so she grabbed her coat and started the descent. It was then that she realised that she had much more neighbours in the building than she had ever thought. A lot of them were already on the ground floor. Her eyes caught a cute guy and so, she quickly removed her sleeping cap. The firemen were there in no time and she beckoned on them to come up to her floor. However, the fighters went to the first floor. She was persistent, telling them that the smoke came from her neighbour but they ignored her. She bumped into another neighbour who told her that some people on the first floor had been smoking weed and that had triggered the alarm. However, she was convinced that it was her own neighbour and kept trying to urge the firemen towards her floor. After several back and forth, they turned off the alarm and declared it a ‘false alarm’.

Stella was livid; it was not “false”, she told the firemen.

“Were you the one that called us” one of them asked.

She admitted that she was, while she wondered whether they would fine her. She had read somewhere that people who called for fake alarms would be fined. But the firemen did not, rather they explained to her that they were not allowed to go into people’s apartments unless there was an actual fire, and that the alarm had pointed them elsewhere. Additionally, since the alarm did not go back on after they turned it off, that meant that the building was safe.

 Stella sighed and went back upstairs. She was still upset because her sleep had been interrupted and given that she always involuntarily woke up by 6am, she was sure to not get enough sleep by morning. This incident made her remember her time in England during her previous studies; one night when they were evacuated from her apartment building because an idiot had decided to boil an egg by 2am and then had fallen asleep. Who would be so hungry to boil an egg by that ungodly hour, she had asked back then, and who would be so foolish to fall asleep before the 10 minutes it took to boil an egg? As she reminisced, tossing and turning on her bed, she fell asleep again.

Thank you for reading my post and please leave a comment and share. I will be updating you along the year. In the meantime, keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates. My main Instagram page is @ugochiukah
Have a beautiful week ahead. x

2020 YEAR GOALS AND 2019 GOALS REVIEW

Hello hi,

Happy Sunday. This is my second post of the year. I hope the year has been going good for you all. I’m trying hard to achieve personal goals and objectives that I have set out for myself and that includes blogging J . So today, I would like to share with you a review of my 2019 goals and my goals for 2020. I always like to make plans, whether I keep them is a different story, hee hee. However, I feel that sharing them helps to keep me accountable – first, it means that I have it not only written down but also posted on the internet and like they say, the internet never forgets. So even if I forget what my goals are, I can always scroll on my blog or I’m pretty sure that some of my tatafo (gossip) blog readers would remind me or ask me about them at some point, lol. So that’s why I post them on my blog. In the past, I would pin them to my office board right next to me, because that was where I used to spend the most of my time but last year, I decided to start putting them on my fridge with a magnet. In a way, it was me reminding myself that I should spend more time at home or at least have a work-life balance, which I really tried to do last year. So here were my 2019 and 2020 goals and my 2019 self-score below:

Spot the difference between the 2 year goals.

So basically, I scored myself 3 out of 10 for my last year goals, how ridiculous! Looking back at my goals, most of them were not unrealistic but somehow I had not managed to meet them. For example, the weight goal - there were times I weighed 58kg but I could hardly maintain it. However, I know I was not unfit, as I had spent a lot of time last year doing physical activity and exercise – Zumba 4-5 days a week, ballroom dance once a week, and walking half an hour every day. So I suspect that the extra 2 kg I had were muscle weight. Therefore, I’m not mad at myself even though I’d still prefer the former weight and so I have carried this over to this year.

Dating at least twice a month…where do I even start from? I had began last year with this goal and of course I signed up on dating websites to catch some big fish. For the most part, I ended up catching tiny fish, eels, snails, crayfish etc. instead of the fresh fish or whale I had hoped for. So yes, I was able to go out on dates to meet my goals but they were not fruitful and were time-consuming. There were times I would be on a date and even though I would have nothing else to do at home, lying down on my bed seemed preferable to me. And it was not because I did not like to date people but rather because I could see no future with these guys, in addition to the fact that they bored the heck out of me. I will write about some of them on my blog later. Don’t get me wrong though, I had some pretty good dates and experiences including going to an opera which I enjoyed (plus it was free J ). However, no one went much further and at some point, these dates started becoming a pain rather than an achievement to me. Therefore, as one who values herself and time, I had to re-evaluate this particular goal by the end of April. Did I want quantity over quality? Was it more important to achieve this goal but lose myself? In the end, I decided to scrap it and by the end of May, I had left those sites and started to feel free again. That’s not to say that I’ll never date or go to those sites again but I’ve learnt that this is NOT a goal for me and so I’m not carrying it or any type of relationship goal over. One less goal, Phew!

Next – publishing at least 10 academic papers. When 1 of my colleagues saw this, she said I was crazy and maybe she’s right. If you are in the academic world, you’d understand how hard it is to publish 1 paper, not to talk about 10 in one year, except you are a PI (Principal investigator) and you have some expert data analysts and students helping you do a lot of the work. And yet, the over-ambitious me put this down as a goal. I only published 2 articles – 1 first-author one in a nice journal (high-impact factor, see here) and an editorial (here) but at least I wrote a few manuscripts so hopefully I can meet up this year. Maybe I’m still crazy to hope to achieve this during this year but I love to be hopeful.

Writing competition – You know what, I should score myself fully for this because I actually entered into one competition which I did not win,  but it does not matter because the goal was not about winning. Also, I wrote an academic grant which I believe counts because it is a competition and I had not specified what type of competition. So scrap the half mark, I give myself a full mark which means I have 3 and a half marks now. Yay!

Oui, French! Everyone says I have improved including my French teacher but I am not yet where I wish to be so I’ll keep working on it. I’m also going to double my efforts so I can see more results.

As for swimming and biking, I had no time during the summer last year as my special guest was around. If you read my previous story here, you’ll understand why I could not achieve swimming in 2018. But this year, I think I’ll consider signing up for swim class even outside the summer since it’ll be an indoor pool anyway. And as for biking, maybe I’ll just go to the Netherlands or any similar European country for a few months and that will force me to learn, ha ha.

Arts - I went for one paint class last year and I enjoyed it so I hope to go for more this year. I also want to get myself a keyboard before the end of next month so I’ll see how that goes. I did not start any money-making business, I don’t even think I had one in mind but I’ll think harder this year so I’ve left it out for now.

Finally, I registered to volunteer with an organization to mentor women, which I am excited about but I have not yet officially started because last year, my schedule never fit well. So I hope to start this year, thus I gave myself half mark.

And that’s it for my 2019 goal review. I have made my 2020 goals, some of which are similar to 2019’s – spot the difference. As I said, I will make more efforts this year by God’s special grace but ultimately I leave everything in the hands of my creator. As long as I have peace, I feel fulfilled. I also joined a vision group where we are to encourage each other in meeting our goals. So I had to make this vision board below. How about you, what are your 2020 goals? Are they similar to mine?

Thank you for reading my post and please leave a comment and share. I will be updating you along the year. In the meantime, keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates. My main Instagram page is @ugochiukah

Have a beautiful week ahead. x