TEN THINGS I HAVE (RE)LEARNT DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

Hello hi,

It’s been just over 2 weeks since my last blog post here and the word has changed enormously between then and now. I remember making a joke about the priests potentially greeting the congregation members using fist-bumps by the next Sunday. Sadly, large gatherings including church services were cancelled so I have not been able to go to church since then. Additionally, the World Health Organization (WHO) declared the coronavirus (COVID19) a pandemic, therefore I hope that everyone is being alert and do their best to stay safe. While things seem to be getting better with the virus issue in some countries such as South Korea and even China, the situation is horrific in countries like Italy and Spain. I have been trying to keep up with the numerous emails and news of the virus situation, as I am sure many of you are.

Presently, I am self-isolating and practising social distancing, therefore I have not been able to go into the office, so I am forced to work from home (or at least try to work). Social distancing means not having visitors including neighbours, staying away from crowds (currently more than 1 person), staying 6 feet or 2 meters away from the next person, and also avoiding dates (yes, you read correctly). In my last video, I talked about dating during this period; if you have not watched it, you can watch them on my Instagram (@UgochiUkah) here: part 1 and part 2, or the full video is on my Youtube channel here , if the video below does not play.

During this period of self-isolation, I have made several observations about myself and others, and I have learnt some things that I did not know of, or did not realise how impactful they were. Of course, I already knew certain things such as how working at home is annoying (for me at least), but this period made me realise how unproductive it can really be, unless I take drastic measures. However, there were a few other things I had not really paid attention to or realised. Therefore, in this post I will be sharing 10 things I have learnt so far or been reminded of, during the coronavirus pandemic.

10 THINGS I HAVE (RE)LEARNT DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

1. I have always been a hermit: Okay, maybe not literally but for almost all of my adulthood I have lived by myself, away from my family and friends. This has been due to my academic background, having me move from one country to another, even before I turned 18 years old. I also attribute this solitary behaviour to my preference of staying at home except when necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I still know how to “turn up” or socialize if I have to but if I don’t, you’d find me indoors probably on a phone call with my family or close friends. Therefore, when we were asked to self-isolate ourselves, nothing felt different for me (except the working at home part). As a matter of fact, I almost found it funny how people seemed so worried about being at home. Hello? Welcome to my life!

2. Some professions are invaluable: It’s no surprise that medical doctors, nurses, and pharmacists are very important people in the society. Kudos to them and all the healthcare workers that have been put in the frontline to attend to patients during this period. Apart from these professions, I’m happy to see other professions that have been in the dark (or appear so) being recognised now e.g. farmers, grocery workers, airline staff, postage and delivery guys, IT folks, scientists and researchers, including epidemiologists and public health fellows. I can’t tell you how all of a sudden people have started asking me questions about health and the coronavirus J While I would like to help you, I can’t do so unfortunately, because my area is not in infectious diseases. However, you can stay well-informed about the virus through WHO or your national health ministry websites.

3. Good people truly exist: In a world where we sometimes experience disappointment from people including ‘friends’, we often find ourselves doubting whether good people exist. However, I have heard so many wonderful stories during this period, including young people helping to do grocery shopping for the elderly, stores creating specific shopping times for the elderly too, people volunteering to stop the spread of the virus including some healthcare workers coming out of retirement, and several donations have been made to feed people and combat this pandemic. I am really inspired by all of these and grateful for the efforts put in place. We too can be good people by checking up on our family, friends, colleagues, and older people using technology. Another way that we can be good is by not getting in the way of these workers, therefore please stay at home unless necessary (I’ll tell you when necessary later in this post).

4. A lot of people have misplaced priorities: It’s surprising and annoying how some people are not taking this pandemic serious despite the current global news. Some people are still partying, going for award shows, and even tweeting fake or irrelevant information about the virus. Suddenly, people are making disease burden comparisons with regular influenza (flu), malaria, or HIV. While these other sicknesses are important, they are not global pandemics at the moment and comparing crude numbers of death (rather than incident mortality rate per infected person) is not helpful in encouraging people to take precautions. What is even more annoying is that many of these people are not real advocates for anything; a lot of them have never advocated for the prevention of malaria or HIV before now, so why distract or discourage people from being alert about the coronavirus? If you don’t have anything useful to say, just stay at home quietly, Please!

5. Anything can be politicised: Speaking of priorities, it is quite a shame to watch how some politicians have used the endemic as a selfish weapon. While some leaders are fighting hard to keep their people safe, others are more interested in the economy, stock markets, waiting for their children to return from abroad before they shut down the borders etc. I hope this would serve as a lesson for all to vote “right” in future elections.

6. Travelling is a privilege: When my department first imposed a travel ban, I was upset because I had lots of exciting trips and conferences that I was looking forward to. So you can imagine my grudge when I had to cancel reserved and unreserved trips (5 and counting), when all I had in mind this year was to travel around the world. I grumbled bitterly until my mother had to remind me that life and health were more important. And yes, I also probably had my priorities wrong (just like those people hoarding toilet paper, lol) but at the time when this first happened, the virus was still at the beginning phase (except for China) and not yet a pandemic – so don’t judge me. Nonetheless, I have had to re-evaluate my needs and wants during this period and now, I am more aware of how privileged and blessed I have been. I am really thankful for all the times I got to travel and hopefully for my travels in the future.

7. I have movie commitment issues: Having access to Netflix, you would think that I would have finished watching all the movies online. However, this is not the case for me, because I find myself starting to watch a movie and stopping halfway. They are either too long, too boring, too serious, or too predictable/cliché for me, or sometimes I don’t even remember that I started watching a movie until Netflix reminds me. This probably explains why I only go to the movie theatre on average once a year and usually end up watching movies on the plane.

8. I really like the church: I’m a regular Sunday church goer; the only time I don’t go to church is when I travel and/or I can’t find a church in the new place. However, I don’t think that I really paid attention to how much it had become a part of my life and that I enjoy it, until these past 2 weeks where we have had to stay at home. I still try to follow the service online for now, hoping that thing will get better.

9. Connection and communication are key: In this period, it is important to stay in touch with loved ones and communicate remotely. This is essential for good mental health and can also serve as a motivation for other things such as exercising and staying fit. I have regular check-in buddies for exercise, work plan, spiritual check-in etc. Sometimes with isolation, you can either find your passion or fall into depression. So make sure that you have a way to stay in touch, not only with the news but also with others.

10. Finally, family is everything: If you don’t know that by now, you better give your family members a call and check up on them.

So those are my 10 lessons so far from this pandemic. Before I sign off, I would like you to place your hand on your chest and say these words:

“I will stay at home unless I have to:

·       Visit the doctor or

·       Buy groceries or food to eat (and not to hoard) or

·       Take a walk* for physical activity purposes (not to smoke). If I take a walk, I will walk alone - just me, myself, and I, except for with household members.^±

So help me God. Amen.”

*Please check with your place of residence if you are allowed to take walks.

^±Please note that ‘household members’ means people living in the same house/apartment with you, and not neighbours or people living in your apartment building.

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates (my main Instagram page is @ugochiukah). Until next time, please stay safe and stay indoors. Have a great week and God bless. Xoxo.

DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS FOR EFFECTIVE SHOOTING OF SHOTS

Hello hi,

Happy Sunday and happy international women’s day. To every woman out there, no matter what you think of yourself, you rock!

Before I get into today’s write-up, I have to say that we should all be alert during the Corona Virus issue because it’s spreading really quickly. By now, you should have heard of simple prevention techniques such as washing of hands – it would surprise you how many people don’t wash their hands regularly even after a toilet use. I once saw a public health researcher in the shared bathroom who did not wash hands after use. When I reminded the person to do so, their response was “You know we black people have strong immunity”. I was in shock! Also, avoid touching your face and other people. I was pleasantly surprised to see the measures put in place in Church today – there were hand sanitizers everywhere and most people did not bother shaking hands during the peace sharing. However, there was a nice elderly woman who always walks around shaking hands and today, a few people refused to respond; I felt bad for her. There were also a few other awkward moments, for example, anyone who coughed during mass was given the eye and so you could hear some people struggling hard not to cough out loud. The priests refused to bless people on their foreheads after mass but instead waved at the congregation. I even saw one of them elbow-greet a parishioner which looked funny. At this rate, if the virus situation does not improve, by next Sunday we might see priests fist-bumping us like “What’s up, bro in Christ?” Ha ha! Anyway, better to be safe than infected.

DM SLIDING: DO’S AND DON’TS

So back to today’s topic is on how to effectively slide into DMs (direct messages). For those of you who don't know what sliding in the DMs means, it is when you contact someone, that you typically don't know or don't have their phone numbers, by directly messaging them through social media platform. Since we now live in the social media age, there’s been a lot of sliding and “shooting of shots” via Instagram, twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn…everywhere you can think of. People slide in for different reasons – to seek for job, love, friendship. Whatever the reason may be, having proper etiquette is important and yet in 2020, some people still get it wrong. Therefore, it is no surprise that many sliders (the seeker or person making first contact) are immediately flushed out or ignored by the slidees (the person sought after). I have some tips for you today that I believe can help you in your sliding activity, especially for romantic purposes. Here they are (You may thank me later, wink):

1. Do your research: I know you might think this is just the researcher in me talking but this is the most important step as it will guide you throughout the process. As a slider, you should know what kind of things the slidee is interested in e.g. arts, music, travelling etc. This may help you not only to start a conversation but also to hold it. It will also show that you have genuine interest in the person and that you might be a smart person. It does not have to be anything complicated or involve stalking, it could just be as simple as looking through their profile, photos, and reading their captions. Imagine if you started talking to someone and they responded and you asked them where they live, meanwhile their location was boldly stated on their profile (duh?). I believe if you were applying for a job, you would look up the company. So as with everything in life, try to do a bit of research before sliding into anyone’s dm.

2. Do make yourself accessible to your slidee: When people get DMs, they may decide to look up the slider. Therefore if your profile is private, you might lose a chance of being responded to, because I don’t think any slidee would send you a friend request just to see what you look like or who you are. So if you want to slide into someone’s DM, I think it’s best to unlock your profile, at least temporarily.

3. Do make your profile match up: Just in case the slidee gets to look you up, it is also necessary to ensure that your profile is interesting or at least clean enough to attract them. For example, it does not make sense if you slide into a female activist’s DM and yet you have some misogynistic tweets. If they like to read, you might want to make your profile picture a photo of you reading, ha ha. Okay, nobody is asking you to pretend or change who you are but make sure that your profile shows that you could be a good match for the slidee.

4. Do not be a creep or weirdo: There’s this thing that many people do where they just randomly decide to like all your photos in one minute and then say hi. For sure, you would have been noticed but as a weirdo, which is not something that would be beneficial to you. It’s okay to like some pictures when they are put up but not all in one day. Also, if you finally get attention from the slidee, don’t start sending d*ck pics or making weird requests. Recently, some “stranger” dude who slid into my DM demanded for a video call. I use the word “demanded” because he kept insisting, even when I told him no and things went downhill from there.

5. Do say more than just “hi”: When you slide into someone’s DM, saying “Hi” is not enough. You should ask how they’re doing, introduce yourself, and then continue the conversation if they respond. It’s bizarre for someone to say hi and the slidee says hello and nothing else is said until the next time, the slider says hi again and it becomes a cycle. By the third hi, I personally would not respond because I would have labelled you as a “monitoring spirit” by then. This is also important for female sliders as some women think it’s okay to just say hi and expect the guys to carry on the conversation. Remember that the onus is primarily on whoever the slider is. As I said earlier, this is where you can put into use the information you gathered during your research.

6. Do not write an essay: I know I just said you should introduce yourself but that does not mean you should write an epistle. Some people write their whole story before the slidee even gets the chance to respond and honestly, nobody has time to read long paragraphs. So keep it simple, use nice catchphrases – think about it as a phrase you would use to sell yourself on your resume.

7. Do consider the platform: When you decide to slide into someone’s DM, it is important to understand the social media space you are using. If it is Instagram, it might be okay to be a bit flirty where you could say their picture is cute but on LinkedIn, try to start a little more professional even if you want something more. For example, start the conversation with career related things – you could say you admire their work or you’ve read their publication and you think it’s great. That might make them respond better.

8. Do remember records: Know that if you slide into someone’s DM, your messages may have been saved, even if not replied to. And even if you go to delete them, the slidee may have screen-grabbed them. So bear this in mind whenever you write something so that you never send information that may be used against you in the future.

9. Do be natural and honest: Being yourself is always the best you can be. At the end of the day, if the slidee decides to respond and things go well, you might have a date. And you definitely don’t want to come across as a liar at that stage. It would look really bad on you.

10. Finally Do not be a sore loser: You win some, you lose some. Don’t suddenly become disrespectful because someone ignored you or turned you down. You’d just come across like those market guys that beckon on you to buy something from their stalls “Psst, fine girl come and buy” and when you don’t respond, they say “Ugly girl, nobody likes you”. Don’t forget that it’s a small world and you don’t know if you might meet them somewhere someday.

So those are my 10 guaranteed tips, you’re welcome! If you ever use them and they work, let me know, especially as I have not yet put them into practice :P

Don’t forget to keep visiting my blog and follow my Instagram page @lavivsblog and twitter @vivio_gogo for more updates. My main Instagram page is @ugochiukah

Thank you for reading my post and please share. Have a great week and stay safe. God bless. X